Intentions, Attention and Healing 2018


I was looking at my vision board for 2017 and in spite of 2017 being one of the hardest years of my adult life, most of the things that I put out there, I manifested. It was actually quite uncanny because I didn’t feel like anything went for me as it should have, but hey welcome 2018, let’s see what you have in store for me….I am so excited, you don’t even know it.


Unconditional Love

There’s something about the search for self-awareness and the need to constantly better oneself that can get extremely overwhelming. And whether it is fitness, career, diet, exersice, relationships…there will always be something new to learn, something that could improve your well-being.

So this year, I am loving myself EXACTLY as I am….flaws and all…the rest will come when it comes. Because I am Human, and I am enough!




Be Extra

Oh my word!!! 2017 was the dress rehearsal for being EXTRA! This year we do Extra like it’s never been done before! Be bold, Be bodacious, Be Extra. In every single choice, how I eat, dress, relate…the projects I work on, Everything!!! All will be sprinkled with magic fairy dust and a whole lot of Extra!!! I will surround myself with people who are a whole hellur extra too!

Why you might ask? Simply because I can, and it gives me joy!! Plus this is the year of Black Panther!!!!



Gratitude for me means thankfulness, counting my blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that I receive. It means living my life as if everything were a miracle and a gift, and being aware on a continuous basis of how much I’ve been given. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. There is simply no other way to live than with Gratitude.




I have been battling with gut health related issues for the past five months. In that time I have learnt so much!! Every choice and action that I make inardently plays a major role in my general well being. These actions and choices include what I eat, drink, watch, listen to, read. How I relate, who I date, work with and for and so much more…

As a result of this new found knowledge, I am embarking on a Mindful Living journey which will allow me to heal my gut and in turn, my life.

As I relate with others, my desire is to be a compassionate presence. To pay attention, listen generously, and become an instrument of healing. I have to learn to trust my gut to be a reliable guide. Ultimately, become an environment of trust by providing genuine openness, acceptance and empathy.




My personal motto for the year is “Exploring With Passion, Finding and Being joy!!!”

I had the concept of what I wanted but I didn’t know how best to frame it until a conversation recently with a total stranger miles away on the other end of the world. I am a firm believer that the universe provides us with the resources we need…and in this instance, Bernie in Australia , was just what I needed.



Here’s to joyous living!!

I receive it, Thank You!!!!



A Letter to The Girl Who Feels her Natural Hair is Ugly….

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Hello there Beautiful….

I am sorry that you felt that your hair was ugly

I am sorry that there were not enough people to tell you that your hair is beautiful just as it is…

I am so sorry that there was not information online to inspire you to love and style your hair differently…

I am so sorry that as a community we did not hold your hand through the awkward phase and help you transition through it easily….

I am so sorry those around you made you feel that only long hair can be attractive…..

But most of all I am sorry that those of us who have gone through this phase did not do enough to document our struggles so that those coming after us would know what to expect.


Screen Shot 2017-09-25 at 16.55.45However, as you go through the motions of finding your happy place with your hair….I hope you never think of it as UGLY….

It may be hard, difficult, stringly, coarse, strawlike, scanty, tufty, unruly,….anything but UGLY.

We like to call it the awkward phase. Awkward because it is just different, unusual, new…..a learning curve of sorts….but when you figure it out….you will be just fine.


I remember after my first big chop….My hair was constantly in protective styles….

I hid my hair from the world because I didn’t think it was acceptable to others. But indoors, I loved it….I would take countless photos and primp and preen…..but every time I needed to step out, I would cover it up with a wig or add an extension of sorts. I also colored it because I didn’t feel it was beautiful enough as is.

But this was years ago, when the only natural hair bloggers were Kurly Kichana and Ess of Kinky Curly Coily Me. Tricia’s Naturals was just a fledgling forum and Kurlly Diaries, Nurtured Knotts, Afro Diaries 254, Hairpolitan were unheard of. This was before Instagram!!!!!


Flashback to my second big chop……it was a different narrative all together. I loved and enjoyed my short hair…and the world around me (online and in person) did too…. It was different because I had a loving natural hair community; access to way more information, access to products and lots of inspiration from the Internets.

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Our hair is beautiful; bald, short, long…kinky, curly, coily.

It is carries our DNA

It gives us our unique identity…

No two heads are the same….


So, yes, some stages may be harder than others and yes we may be filled with insecurity and suffer self-esteem issues…. but our hair will never be ugly…. those two words cannot be used in the same sentence ever.


Here’s to loving our hair as it is, every stage of the way…..because it is us, our heritage. Yours and mine.


With Lots of Love


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Before I Fall…

Photo on 31-03-2017 at 12.54 PM #6.jpgWhat if today was your last day? No, you were not dying, but you had no future. You have to re-live this day everyday, tomorrow, one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand tomorrows or ten thousand tomorrows.

How would you live it? What would you do with your time? Would you bathe in it, roll around in it; let it slide like coins through your fingers? After all, it is so much time you can waste it. Or would you change your actions everyday to attract a different outcome?

The thing about time is it keeps moving and draining and flowing forever forward, seconds into minutes into days into years, all of it leading to the same place, a current running forever in one direction. And we’re all going and swimming as fast as we can, helping it along.

But, what do we do because we think – we know- we have a future? We keep doing the same thing everyday. The same terrible habits, the same rote choices. We eat oats and sunflower seeds for breakfast because they are healthy yet we’d much rather have bacon and biscuits. We don’t pick up after ourselves because the help will do it. We stay in unhappy situations: career, relationships, cities. We do what is expected of us, instead of what makes us happy. The phone calls we don’t return, the emails we ignore.

What we fail to realize is how easy it is for things to change, how easy it is to start off down the same road you always take everyday and wind up somewhere new. Just one different step, one pause, one detour, and you end up with a whole new life.

A different set of choices for every moment could lead to new friends, a different reputation or a boyfriend or a breakup, a different LIFE!!

In every moment, there exist different possibilities at the same time. Each moment we live has a thousand other moments layered underneath it that look different, that could be different, that could lead to an alternative existence.

And the thing about these moments and the choices we make while in the moment; they go on forever. Even after they’re over they still go on, even after you’re dead and buried, those moments are lasting still, backward and forward, on into infinity. They are everything and everywhere all at once. They are the meaning. Make them count!


For my muse,


Love, Peace and Purple Fros

A Tale of Four Women and A Restaurant Called Four Sisters


The other day someone asked me why I travel……and my first thought was “as opposed to”? I don’t travel near enough but still, I couldn’t think of my world devoid of travel.

But later I thought I needed to ask myself why I really do and the answer was singular….because you never return the same……something ALWAYS shifts

It changes your perspective on a lot of stuff….it reminds you that life is not always black and white; there are a lot of grey areas but also there are lots of beautiful pockets of vibrant color.

It teaches you to consistently question and evaluate values, beliefs, comfort zones… is always the perfect time to realign, refocus and regroup. I’m always reminded not to take anything for granted but also not to take stuff too seriously.

But most of all, once you start, you can’t stop, it becomes like an addiction, a high that you must consistently feed….I think it is one addiction I do not want to be cured from.

During my recent travels to Ethiopia, yes, I know, an unlikely destination (but one that will surprise when I finally get round to blogging about it) I had an experience which brought it all home for me.


Lea, my fantastic travel buddy


I travelled with my sister, who’s entire world revolves around travel. She is a travel consultant and is so good at it. When she is not doing that, she travels and blogs about her experiences here

This is the first time were travelling together and since I always do solo travel this is a new frontier for me. I had purposed at the beginning of the trip that I would embrace this new experience and milk it for all its worth,…selfie partner, instant photographer( no having to beg random strangers or selfie sticks here) and it is so darn cheaper; shared rooms, meals, cab rides etc….

I couldn’t have asked for a better travel buddy.

Somewhere along the journey we ran into Martie and Caz. We are staying at Lodge du Chateu, a quaint lodge in the old town in Gondar. All rooms open up to a lovely garden type of courtyard. This in essence means you can’t avoid your neighbors on all sides. Martie is staying in the room across from us, Caz is two doors away from us. Little did I know that by the end of the trip these ladies would be my Gondar squad


Lodge du Chateau

It’s day two in Gondar. We are having breakfast in the dining terrace, which has the most magnificent views. On the table next to us are two elderly ladies. One is complaining that the Ethiopian French toast looks and tastes nothing like the American one.

Simon, the lodge manager, comes to brief us about our site-seeing tour for the day. As soon as he leaves….one of the ladies, the brunette, calls out, “are you girls going to see the castles and churches”? We say yes….and she quickly asks if she can come along, we agree. This means we can split the guide fees. Why not?

Breakfast is done, we cross over and shake hands, meet Martie and Caz


The Terrace at Lodge du Chateau …..

Long story short, we spend the day with we go all around Gondar. She is loud and interesting, she sometimes seems unsure and I can’t quite figure out whether it’s a language thing or something else. She, like me, gets tired quickly of being in one spot and the guide going on and on…. “we’ve all read the guidebook and once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all” she says….I kinda/sorta agree….

Somewhere along the site-seeing we learn that Caz is from Madrid and her son is called George, she is so proud that St. George is the Patron Saint for Gondar or something like that. My sister speaks perfect Spanish so she and Caz are a match made in heaven they go on and on in Spanish. Me….imma just people watch.


I just love this picture… many interpretations and the Bayan tree roots, so symbolic.

We return to the lodge at lunch time for a break before we go back in the afternoon.

Martie, who has been in Ethiopia severally before is just coming back from the market, her face is flushed. She tells Caz, “Oh, you should have come to the market, you would have loved it.” Caz says, “You should have come to the Castles…..”

Martie scoffs her away…”I’ve been there many times before”…

I don’t understand these ladies…how are they even friends? They are so different.

Martie asks us whether we have dinner plans we say we say we want to go back to the Four Sisters Restaurant where we’d been the previous night. She beams with excitement, that’s just perfect, it is the best place in Gondar; the ambience and the food is stellar…. that’s where I want to take Caz….we agree to go at 6.30. German dinnertime, now we know Martie’s German.

When we return from the afternoon excursion and its time to pay the guide, apparently the fee has changed. The price has gone up because there were more of us…..CAZ IS LIVID. She haggles everyone, the guide, the manager…everyone… sister and I want to crawl under a rock…the guide was pretty good and the lodge gave us a complimentary shuttle to get around so an additional 50 bir (2dollars) isn’t anything to fret about.

Finally we all pay up and go to chill before dinner.



My sister and I are lounging lazily outside our room…scrolling at photos of the day and trying to catch the WiFi….we don’t realize what time it is until Martie walks out of her room and looks at her watch then at us….crap its 6.25….

She of course has German precision timing… ought to have seen us scurry into our room like teenagers to freshen up and get ready for dinner. I’ve never gotten dressed so fast. We don’t want to upset our new friend with tardiness.

When we step out of the room Martie and Caz are all ooohs and aaahs…we clean up real good. Martie complains that she is here on a project so she didn’t bring any nice clothes. Caz couldn’t be bothered, she is starving.

We are walking to the restaurant…not that there is any other option with Martie…(we had taken a tuk tuk there and back with my sister )

These ladies may be elderly but they are super fit and agile we’re at the restaurant in no time.

Martie knows exactly what she wants… she is vegetarian so she orders Beyeayinet, a delightful fasting dish. Caz has never had Injeraa and she looooves her meat…My sister and I recommend that she has the National Dish which was what we had the previous night. I order lamb goulash and my sister fish goulash…

Caz wants to order a starter because she is starving but Martie tells her off curtly. “ We cant have that, I don’t eat meat”.

Thankfully, the restaurant serves the most decadent vegetable soup with bread as a complimentary starter with every meal. So Caz is okay.

She says she wants a beer and asks whether anybody would mind, she has gone back to her slightly unsure self.

Of course nobody minds. I order a glass of rosé and my sister has a some red wine, Martie has sparkling water.


They give you these gorgeous handwoven ponchos at the Four Sisters Hotel to keep you warm as you dine. Looooooove.

A few gulps of beer and Caz comes alive. She starts regaling us with stories of her youth and of nudist beaches, she can’t quite get over how the people on nudist beaches have such amazing bodies…not an inch of flab or cellulite for days.

Then she moves on to partying in Ibiza….she says that I would fit right in since I look exotic…and according to her, only exotic looking people go clubbing in Ibiza….if you’re ordinary it is no place for you….she gesticulates wildly and laughs heartily….it is so good to see this wild side of her.

My sister says that she has a long distance boyfriend and Caz says that that is the best thing ever!!….. “Since you don’t see each other often you don’t fight and when you meet it is perfection”…..and then she drops this wisdom…”Marriage is not good or bad, it is LONG!!!” My sister and I break out in laughter and Martie nods silently.

I feel she is feeling slightly overshadowed so I turn the conversation to her.

“Tell us about your projects Martie”.

It turns out several times every year she comes out to help destitute families and kids in Gondar. She uses her own money and collections from friends to educate the kids and teach women skills to empower them. I’m intrigued….. “why do you this”, I ask?

She tells us how, on her first trekking visit to the Simien Mountains she met this young boy who looked so haggard and malnourished. He barely had any clothes on in the cold mountains. She gave him a pair of her jeans, which fit him perfectly and from that moment on, he stuck by her side, was her self appointed porter and guard. When she was leaving, he gave her the only thing he had of value, his walking stick. Everyone in this part of the world has one. She took the stick back home with her and months later came back put him in school and set up a business for his mum.

The young boy is now a grown man who manages a trekking company. He is married and has two kids. He calls her his second mum, she says he is her second family.

Martie, is in her 70’s, she is divorced. She has one daughter and two grand sons whom she dotes on. Just in January she went on an Asia tour with her youngest grandson before he started his university studies in Melbourne, Australia. His friends think he has the coolest grandma….I agree.

In her youth she worked for the German Embassy in lots of different countries. She has travelled everywhere and lived on all continents. She knows everything about everything….(lol)…after all she has been there and she is not afraid to remind us that. She has had all the money she could ever want and bought everything she liked.

Now, she is happy to live modestly, empower others…….but she is not hanging up her travel boots anytime soon. She reminds my sister to share her contacts because she wants to come again to Kenya on Safari.


This is how we roll….tuk tuk rides with Lea and Caz!

Back to Caz. After hearing Martie’s story I’m curious to hear her story. “What do you do Caz”, I asked flippantly.

“I am a housewife”…….

Jaws drop, mouth agape!!! Say what now?

Yes, being a housewife is a hard job, you have to keep track of the family’s spending and ensure that everything is running smoothly. I don’t have much money, but I am happier than my banker friends. Plus being a house wife is like being a president….and trying to make sure that budgets are working and everyone is happy.”

There is a moment of silence, then we all burst into laughter, and attack our food with gusto……my mind is reeling…..who is this woman? This housewife from Madrid is out here in the middle of some ancient civilization city site-seeing with two Kenyan girls, and  just now signed up to go trekking for 2 days in the Simien Mountains with some 7 American girls??? Im fascinated by her.

How did she end up here?

Apparently, she came in with a church group to do some ministry work in Addis and when they were finished she decided on a whim to visit the rest of the country which she had read and seen so much about on TV. She wants to go everywhere….even to the south where really no one ever goes…..

I want to ask her so many questions; what does her husband and son think of her just going off like that, what do her church friends think? What is her motivation? How did she and Martie meet? But I choose not to, it really doesn’t matter. At this particular moment she is happy and content and this is what is important.

We talk and talk some more, drink more wine, force Caz to try the local honey wine which we’ve all sampled before and hated…she hates it too…

As the night grows older, I wonder at this little quirky group of 4 eccentric women in the Four Sisters Restaurant. Each oh so different in their own right, brought together by a love for adventure and travel. I have to blink back tears…because right there, in that very moment, I know exactly why I travel……

Dinner is over, and like the girls we are, we take lots of selfies and then walk out into the night….

Martie says we must walk back it’s good for our digestion.

When we get back to the lodge we hug each other tight…we are no longer strangers in the same lodge, we are friends, comrades, compatriots. And when we look into each others eyes and say “see you soon” we really all mean it….because as long as there is travel there is always an opportunity to ran into each other….

Is that Ibiza I hear calling my name?



Intuition and Fake Gold…


Not too long ago someone made me one of those traffic stopping, destiny altering, offers of a lifetime. To say I was blown away would be a gross understatement.

I was bowled over….

I was over the moon…

A few days later, I was supposed to start the groundwork that would enable this “golden opportunity” to happen. I kept stalling…I made a few phone calls, walked into some offices…but really did nothing.

I was baffled at myself…like seriously

Wachu, you don’t realize what’s at stake, why are you dragging your feet?


One day passed, another one went by…. Then I fell sick…

I had a fever, breakouts on my face, my body was in so much pain I could barely move…. it was horrible. A first, I blamed it on the weather, which has been so erratic so I figured the shifting temps might be causing my body to shut down….

I dragged myself to a friends birthday dinner although I could barely eat, and my friends were determined I was with child. The nausea, the heart palpitations…hmmmm…


The next day I decided to try out an old trick that my mother taught me years ago.

I brought out my very unused yoga mat, lit some candles, put on some classic music- Pachelbel and did some deep breathing.

When I was very calm I started thinking through all the stuff in my life, big and small.


As each thought came to the fore of my mind I would ‘listen’ intently to how my body would respond to those thoughts. It was a mish mash of emotions and feelings, but all consistent, my heart, body and brain were all aligned on how they felt about these things.

Work – boring, work no 2. –exciting, family – love, friends- yay, my long-term crush- dreamy sigh, dreams, goals, ambitions.

Then, I started thinking about this “golden opportunity” and it was insane…suddenly; my heart was pounding, I got an instant headache, I was so hot and flushed and thoroughly nauseated…. My body was revolting.

It then occurred to me that this was not a still small voice from the universe saying no, this was a loud, thunderclap, writing in the skies sign that this “opportunity” was just not right.

I decided in that moment that I was not going to do it, even if it killed me. I remember crying, I don’t know if it was tears of sadness or relief…. I was experiencing both emotions in real time. My body immediately felt more energized, I could feel the pressure on my heart easing…. but I was also sad, very sad, what if such a chance never comes again, what if I will grow old and wrinkly and on my death bed I will regret not having gone for it……..

When I told my sisters that I was not taking up the opportunity…one of them said flippantly…I’m glad, it seemed too good to be true…. there will be other chances.

img_20170205_173503It’s been about four days since I made the decision to turn down the opportunity…. it turns out when I started to scrutinize it a little closer…the gold was just cheapie glaze over an earthen vessel…. there were a couple of chinks in there….

I feel lighter, happier and my body and spirit is whole again….


Is there a moral to this story…actually there’s none.

I’m blogging about this so I can remind myself to listen a little closer to my instincts… possibly be a little less trusting, question a little bit more, attempt not to wear my heart on my sleeve much…and yeah…put that yoga mat to use more frequently…:):)


Grow through what you go through….


Love , Peace and Fros

How I Faked my BC and Other Stories

Whoooooaa, it’s been a minute since I last blogged and I have a litany of excuses. Some legit, some hogwash.

Like, I lost my phone and in turn, ALL my photographs from all my travels in 2016. Yes, I know, I hadn’t backed them up, and now all I have left is just the beautiful memories imprinted in my head. Sigh. Legit. Also, I had major writers block, my 2016 muse has been MIA so yeah….Hogwash.

But New Year, new beginnings so here we go.


The other day I was fooling around with my hair and it appeared like I had chopped off my hair. I posted the photograph of my “cut” on Instagram and the reactions were priceless….

There was some love…. I do agree that my cheekbones come through when there’s less hair on my head…. but it could just be holiday weight. Lol

The reactionary gasps and disbelief was what tickled my fancy…. I think Coco Channel (who I love to bits) put us all in some very awkward position when she said, “When a woman cuts her hair, she’s about to change her life”


I got a number of inquests as to what was happening? Had I been dumped, or was I dumping someone, was I making a career move, was I moving house, was I moving country. All very interesting questions simply because I looked like I had cut my hair.

Well, the answers were No, No, Sort Of, I Need to, and heck No….

But the takeaway was singular. I am my hair and I am not my hair.

I could cut my hair simply because I want a change of aesthetic, but more often than not, it heralds a bit more than just a haircut.



However, while I did not cut my hair, thank heavens! I am ready for new beginnings in 2017. 2016 was a darn good year, heck it was great, but anything after 2015 was going to be great. I went in to 2016 with no expectations, no goals, no plans, no resolutions and it turned out splendid on a lot of counts.

They say to let it be if it’s not broken …but I want to be more intentional about 2017. So I have the blueprint for what I want from 2017. I am putting it out there into the universe…so help me God.



2016 was a great year, but there are some things I would rather remain there….

  1. Inauthenticity…lies, duplicity, half-truths you’re not coming with.
  2. Bad eyebrows…. can we all just get over the eyebrow craze. Good lawd.
  3. Drama in the natural hair space…..come on, this is so dated.
  4. Cellulite……no explanation needed.




Love, Peace and Fros.





Listen to Your Hair…..and Your GUT!!!

photo-on-20-08-2016-at-12-04-pm-4When I returned to natural many (read four) years ago, I read this phrase on every other blog and heard countless YouTubers rehash it.

It sounded strange, dare-I- say cultic even…. How do I listen to my hair…?

In my minds eye, I had this vision of my curls stretching and bending to whisper into my ears….”~We need moisture, more love and a lil TLC!~!!” or whatever.

But my tresses were only an inch long….. They were never going to whisper sweet nothings into my ears…. well, not for a long time to come…so I thought.

As time went by, I figured that there were never going to be any whispers. However, there were going to be little and BIG cues everyday that would help me figure out exactly what was going on and what was needed.

If the tresses were craving moisture, the hair would feel rough and brittle. Warm to the touch hair was also a sign of not properly hydrated hair.

Little pieces of broken hair in my sink meant that I was due for a protein treatment. Tangles and single strand knots(SSKs) meant it was time for the dreaded trim.

If I had been eating my greens and keeping hydrated and attempting to exercise, it would show on my hair, and the reverse was true.

Cool to the touch, shiny and bouncy hair meant that we were in a very good place.

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During my journey there have been constant whispers but there have been times the hair has literally yelled…because I was not listening….

  1. Coconut Oiltwo-coconuts-and-coconut-oil-in-jar-without-lid.jpg

I have a love hate relationship with Coconut oil. The whole world and its mother plus its cousins loves coconut oil…how can we  not like coconut oil…it is so rich and creamy and smells so good. It also has immense benefits, but my hair would have none of that.

Like a love-struck girl I kept insisting on using coconut oil and suffered the effects of dry, straw like hair until one day I painfully let go…well not quite, I still use it as a pre-shampoo oil but I might be letting go fully soon due to recent discoveries.

  1. PROTEINhair_twh_74_03.jpg

Oh how I wanted for my hair to hate protein…after all 1/3 of the naturalista population was protein sensitive (insert eyeroll). It took me a whooping 3 and a half years to listen to my hairs begging and pleading that not only was it not protein sensitive, but it loved protein. Hydrolyzed protein in particular and Henna is bae not a bad boy.

  1. ManipulationDesktop219.jpg

I have a serious case of Hands in Hair syndrome…. like a clingy lover, I can’t keep my hands off my hair…. This constant manipulation is not good because it leads to damaging my fine but dense strands. Which leads to breakage, breakage equals to stunted growth, stunted growth makes me paranoid that my hair is not growing which leads to even more manipulation…..aaarrgh vicious cycle. my hair keeps saying stop the manipulation, I am finally learning to let it go….

As I pen this, my hair is currently saying to me it is NOT feeling my current hairdo… scalp is dry, irritated and itchy. I know that if someone said this to me about their hair, I would say without missing a beat…. take it down…it is not worth the damage/stress/ pressure etc. But then I think just how much it cost to get it done as well as the time and effort and mentally make plans to get some Peppermint Essential Oil to try soothe my scalp.

And as I ignore the messages from my hair, I think how this mirrors life choices. How often does my gut tell me something ain’t right, or that the time is now, or countless other messages and I ignore it….Only to bear the brunt of my choices in the not so distant future?

The moral of this rambling….

Listen to your Hair…. and YOUR GUT. There is a voice that has no words. Listen